I hate that crap man. I don't understand this loudness war. Mixes sound cool before there is limiting on them.
My wife is a stickler about it, she puts the mix right into her iTunes and starts comparing how it sounds compared to commercial releases. I try not to do that anymore. I just limit it a tiny bit... only like 3 dB every once in a while and things usually hold up just fine.
Then I'll notice something strange when something like Martina Topley Bird comes on in my headphones and she's whispering but she is way too loud! If the song calls for it can't it be quiet? Not every CD has to be the loudest CD. Did this issue only arise with the advent of the compact disc?
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