Sometimes I will cut off a toe and mail it to myself with a threat. I wait for a response and if nothing happens I remove another toe and repeat the process.
Then I remember that this works best in kidnapping movies and I pass out in a pool of blood. Then 3 headed canaries begin flying around my head chirping interesting chord melodys. If the birds don't give you the right part, usually the pain will inspire something interesting.....Like infection!
