although... dare I say it, I actually prefer the PC.
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You must not do any computer based recording huh? As far as effects go, I prefer an old Fender tube amp and a chorus pedal. I use the chorus for clean sound and drive the tube amp for disturtion. I do like the old MXR distortions too but, I think for what you want you'd be better off with a studio quality multi-effect processor of some sort.