Battle Rap Boot Camp

[EvanExempt]

Awlright! This is it.

YOU have just been "Called Out"!!

DO YOU Take a Pass (and look like a punK)?

OR DO YOU GRAB THE MIC AND GET ON HIS HEAD A LIL'?


Check it. You gotta keep in mind dat ifiniz ya' refuse da' battle. You fauxeva goin' down in all ya' matez history as A sucka MC!

Now what it iz ya' may be askin' iz:

"Yo, what do I say when I battle?"

Well. First thing ya' haz ta' Consider iz... What IS there ta talk about? Rememba. Ya' doezn't hafta insult someone ta' make 'em look bad. But ya' Haz ta' stay FOOOOOCUSED on ya' opponent. Start from da' ground up. Wha' kind o' shoez is he wearin'?
This a' tell ya a lot about wha' style he iz Bringing.

Faux instance:
If he's steppin in a pair o' air force onez, well he prolly likes da' Nelly. This means ya' gotta come at him witt some mad ill underground Aesop, Company Flow type rhymes. Get at 'em wit da' metaphors.
If he's rockin a pair o' suede wallabes, then he likely iz a Wu-tang head on some new york walking in the rain typa' rappin. Fo' this ya' gotta break out the Dirty South fast-flows. Dis a' get everybody bouncin' in da' party and it really don' even matta watcha say just so long as you bring a lotta "WHAT? WHAT?" an snarl up ya' top lip so all da honeyz can see ya' Gold grill wit da ice up in it!
If He's Wearin Flip-flops? Well then he prolly think he is a Rastafarian (But Neva set a flip-flopped foot in Kingston). Fo dis ya' should just starting spittin' rhymes like Eminem to insult him... or maybe just sing a lil' R. Kelly a sumthin'....
Then da' whole party will likely disband and it won't even matta if ya loze da battle!!

Stay tuned fo mo' helpful tipz in Klownin Ya' Fellow wannabe Emcees.

I'm Out
PEACE!!

[dagosto]

Hey man. Your science is tight.

[EvanExempt]

YO YO YO!!

Waddup? It's ya' main Man, E comin' atcha once Mo'. Hookin all ya' wannbe emcees up wit' da rhymes dat a' eatcha like a slice o' Chicago style pizza. Today'z lesson is YO!........ HOW DOES I WIN THE BATTLE??......... IF THIS CAT IS LIKE WAYYYYYYY ILLA THAN ME?

WELL, da' first question ya' hasta' ask ya' self iz: "HOW does I get my self out of this situation in tha' Least embarrassin' way possible?"

Well, check it. Dis one time I was Str8 Murderin' Dis cat on the main stage at dis HUUUUUUGE Party. Just killin' him wit da' Slyness.

Sayin' things like: "Yo, you F#$(In' wit me is like Bozo Da' Clow F#$@in' Wit an evil Mime.. I sneak up on you from behind wit' an imaginary NINE. Kick you in the spine, disconntect your life-line 'n blow ya F*^%in brains out the back o' your imaginary Mind"

And all deez chicks was like, "AWWW yeah!"

And dis got so embarassed... YO!! Dude FAKED A SEIZURE!! Just fell down an' start spazzin' out. So like evrybody just forget 'bout how bad I was clowning his a$$ an just get all worried and call the ambulance. Ya' know?

So check it. If ever ya'z getting smashed in da cypher. ya aint gotta be SOOO drastic like dis fool wit' a bogus seizure. But maybe just do su'in a lil' more subtle... Like Grab ya' Family jewels, Unplug Hiz MIC, and start b-boying LIke... "You don't wanna battle ME!!!" That a get all the honeyz Laughing a thinkin' you'z da man... Butt don't do this if'n ya' can't break dance, cause man you will loooooooook soooo Stupid.

That's all we gotz time fo' today.

Stay tuned fo' mo' Tipz on clownin' dem punk Emceees. PEACE!!

[Chaorta]

i like sandwiches.

[smopo24]

sand witches in the hizzy! MURDER!!!!!!!

[smopo24]

my bad, i meant SANDWITCHES!!!!!!!!!! theys da bomb!

[lukedavo]

I was seriously debating chimming in, I had to do it, I can't help it. Droppin mad science like
Dave Chappelle Tiger Woods quote:

"I've always wanted to say this..............For Shizzle!"

[EvanExempt]

Yo, I do mad damages to kids frontin' with sandwiches.

I manage battle raps that have you in body bags and Bandages!

what?

[smopo24]

OOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[lukedavo]

hahahahahah, got u there.